I want to know what has happened in our society. How have we come to a point in our lives that putting our current relational status on social media networks has become so mandatory that not having it listed means that you're not even thinking about dating anybody. More than a few times in the past few months, I have been told that I'm not really dating anybody, that I'm not really in a relationship with anybody because it isn't on Facebook and online news feeds are totes real life.
I have so many issues with this that I don't even know where to begin. Taking a look at the labels that are normally given to people in a relationship, the boyfriend/girlfriend terms that just seem a bit childish. Why can I casually refer to any female I associate with as a "girlfriend" without a single eye being batted but if I mention a "boyfriend," I get the quizzical eyes and am immediately interrogated? Since when am I not allowed to have boy friends but unlimited girl friends? I know I'm all for some sexism and bitches making sandwiches, but that's pushing even my limits on what's acceptable behavior from a society. What if I don't feel the urge to say "boyfriend?" What if I think of "boyfriend" as a high school term, like "going out" was so middle school? Is that such an abstract thought, to say that I'm dating instead of putting myself into the box of being a "girlfriend?" And just out of pure laziness, the extra syllables required to say "my boyfriend" are not worth it to me. (I like my words, but I like saving syllables when I can. It's a weird quirk that I picked up as a kid)
Then there's the issue of why I'm supposed to have every detail of my personal life sprayed all over everywhere. I understand I put a lot of shit on Facebook, but my love life is just that - mine. I have a planner that I put the personal stuff in. I have this thing about sacred moments and how some things in my life are mine and only mine. The little things that happen that you don't share with anyone, you keep them for yourself. Like mental chocolate, they're good to keep so you can have them on bad days when you need a smile. And in spite of all seemingly contrary evidence, I really am quite a private person. I can lean very heavily towards the full disclosure side of things, but just because I'm talking doesn't mean I'm actually telling you anything outside of superfluous information. This being said, why then would I feel the need to graffiti my profile with a giant pink heart that says I'm in a relationship? Yes, I'm happier than a chihuahua with a t-bone to be in the relationship I'm in but I would rather tell Facebook that he's singing Kesha while making crepes (that hasn't happened.....yet) because I know other people who would enjoy knowing that information. "Officially" broadcasting that I'm in a relationship would be pure self gratification and it still serves me no purpose.
The only amusing aspect of any of this is the people who seem to think that I drive all the way to Cookeville to be with someone I'm not romantically interested in. Yes, I've driven way further than that to see friends, but I don't make a habit of it. Why would I drive 3 hours round trip to hang out with a guy in a house full of guys? Do they think that the only male attention I can get is an hour and a half away? Am I so repulsive that there is not another guy within a more reasonable radius of my house that I could go see to get my cuddles on? I mean, I know I don't exactly knock 'em dead, but I thought I was more attractive than that. And a house full of guys; while that sounds like so much fun for someone as flirtatious as I can be, really what it ends up being is me awkwardly hanging out in the background as they make references to jokes that I'm sure I don't want explained to me, make loud noises, burp, fart and talk about shitting. And when that's not happening, there's the constant noise of video games and sports coming from at least one room in the house. Why would someone think that I would put up with that just to snuggle with someone that I'm not emotionally invested in and who has no interest in me? I have a feeling that if I went up to a random guy and said "you, me, bed, now," I'd have a pretty good chance of it working. And if all else fails, I have three cats who want nothing more than to snuggle with me. I don't even have to leave my house.
It's been bothering me that, not only are people thinking this way, but that they are capable of reproducing and voting. What could I say to sufficiently shut them up? I've been trying to figure out what comeback would be so fantastic to the "you're not in a relationship" comments that the person would be shut down. I have had no luck so far. But then it came to me:
"Facebook doesn't say you're in a relationship..."
"And Facebook didn't tell me that you were going to end up being such an ignorant fucktard when I friended you but that doesn't mean it's not true."
This will end up serving more than one purpose. Not only will I be able to release any frustration I may be feeling at the time, but it will likely also end any budding friendships with ignorant fucktards that I may have been in the beginning stages of. And that will, in the long run, save me so much unnecessary emotional investment as I tend to be a lover and form very deep bonds with the people in my circle. I'm so excited about this that I almost can't wait for the next person to say something about it to me. But really, I can wait, please people, don't be an ignorant fucktard.
No comments:
Post a Comment